The product

People tell me that I’m a product of my environment,

But how can I be when I can’t assimilate to my surroundings?

It’s not that I don’t want to.

It’s because it feels unnatural.

I cannot be what they want me to be

And I cannot make myself no matter how hard I tried.

They give people like me another option but I refuse that too.

I give myself an exotic name then; a rebel or maybe an anarchist.

But all I am is an outsider and no matter how many of us become famous and beloved, there’s nothing really glamorous about an outsider who hasn’t found his crowd yet.

An outsider can’t love himself unless other outsiders love him. Many outsiders don’t dare admit this.

So my reply to them, when they tell me that I’m a product of my environment;

What happens to the product if he’s excluded from his environment?

Where is he supposed to go?

And who is he supposed to illuminate?

Maybe a better question is: what happens to the product if he excludes himself from his environment?

Do you need to have somewhere to go before you go on such a journey?

Do you need a guide on your way there?

Maybe as we grow up in our unwanted environment we subconsciously follow a guide

even if we don’t want to follow him

even if we don’t even like them.

These things don’t matter anymore.

You’re an adult now

Now you must pretend that you make your own choices even if you don’t.

None of us really do but we must pretend we do or else we have no one to blame.

Now you’re here, this is where your guide has taken you,

Inspired by all your struggles, he leads to your appointed hiding place.

You might not want to be here but none of that matters.

The place where you belong isn’t necessarily the place you want to be.

***

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