Voices 02-10-2017

You don’t register it at first, you think it’s somebody goofing around or part of the show…

It sounded like firecrackers…

Suddenly everybody was running…

I used to be agnostic but now I believe in God…

I don’t think he made it…

We need to use your truck, we need to get this man in the hospital…

Was this act of terrorism?

Did he get the weapons illegally?

How can we decide on the line between ideology and insanity?

It’s harder to pass security, so he does it outside of the venue.

I think I’ve been hit…

There are no negotiations, he just wanted to kill as many people as possible…

I don’t think I’m going to make it….

How many more people have to die before they get it…

Congress is not going to do a damn thing…

How dare they push their agenda in a time like this!

I love you.

What the fuck is happening to our country?

This was something he must have been planning for a long time…

He didn’t fit the traditional profile…

Our country will prevail. This country was build on the foundations of unity, we won’t let this man tear us apart…

This country will prevail. Our country was build on beautiful foundations, it will never back down. We will be united. We are strong together…

You see the fear of death in their eyes, there were people trampled to death…

We could never see him do a thing like this…

I’m not leaving you, I’m staying right here.

It’s the biggest mass-shooting of American history…

I wish I was the one who got him…

There will be more casualties…

You don’t think it will happen to you and then it does…

Though there was chaos, there was hope. Everybody was helping each other…

Sometimes these incidents bring the best out of the people. They don’t even realize they’re doing it, they just run and do it…

It sounded just like in Iraq….

He’s tired, we should bring him home after the song is over…
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The Big Whopper

”There’s nothing special inside me. We need to learn this the hard way. The ones who learn it the easy way have even less value. I don’t care for the lucky ones. Being lucky makes you even less special. Being oppressed, whether from internal or external forces, makes you special. It’s adversity that gives us grit. The lucky ones have no bones. They crumble when it all comes crashing down. But us, the unlucky, the supremely fucked, we will stand amidst the rubble, smiling, despite having lost everything. We laugh when they tell us fairy tales; God, country, the love that conquers all. It’s all an excuse, a great whopper to make us feel special. And I used to think I was so special, let me tell you. I used to think that my soul was on the verge of something great transcendental plain. I would reach greatness, I used needed time, I just needed to fight for it. I imagined the place I would live, I would imagine my kingdom.
Well here it is, this is as good as it’s going to get. You came looking for me and hoped to find answers, hoped to find a happy ending for your story. You hoped to form a bond, to kindle an unrequited love. You hoped to find a home. I’m pleased to say you found it. This is your home, this is all there is. And when the forces of the nature come crashing down, when everything falls apart, this home too, will be destroyed. It’s all part of growing up. I’m just telling you this because I love you. Don’t ever say I didn’t warn you.”

Picture taken in Katowice, Poland

One Day

‘’Nobody wants to be alone at my age. I understand why people would feel sorry for me. This is not what I wanted, but it is what happened. I had someone who meant everything to me, I wanted him to be with me until I died or I wanted to die with him. Only the luckiest die together. But he died first, as men often do. Now I’m alone. We never had children, it was not in my nature to have them. It made him very sad, but we couldn’t live without each other. So we lived without children. We knew that one day, one of us will be alone. But even now, I think of him every day. I pray for him every day. I visit his grave every day. It’s a long way walking to his grave, it’s not good for my knees. This might sound odd, but every time I visit his grave, it almost feels like I’m meeting him again. I look forward to it. Just like when I would pick him up from work. Back when we were young, when there was such a long life ahead of us. I almost feel like one day he would be standing there, waiting for me. He would take me with him, wherever he was and I would never have to leave him again.’’

Picture taken in Katowice, Poland

Do You Understand?

‘’I just want her to come back to me. She’s the only person that can save my life. Whenever I say this, people tell me that my life shouldn’t hinge upon another person. That I should have enough confidence on my own, I should life for myself. Easy for them to say. They are with the one they love. They know who they are, they have purpose. They don’t have to be me. Everything is always easy for the other person, but if they knew what I’d lost, if they only knew how much she means to me, then they wouldn’t be saying that. They would understand that there is no way for me to move on.’’

Picture taken in Katowice, Poland

The First Rascal

For Monika

”We always talked about having one, but we needed to wait. We first had to finish our studies, then find a job and then start saving. Every month we would see each other. Sometimes a weekend, sometimes a week. It hasn’t been easy to tell you the truth. We waited a long time before this life could start. There was a lot of ‘see you soon,’ and ‘miss you already.’
There’s no secret to this. You just have to be committed, to know what you want. I wanted nothing more in life than to be with her. I’m the luckiest man on earth because she felt the same.
And now we are here, finally. First we are going to start with this little rascal, then, when we are ready, we will create a few rascals of our own…”

Picture taken in Groningen, Holland.

My Easter prayer 15-4-2017

I pray for my girlfriend, the woman I love.
I pray for my family, those faces that will never leave me.
I pray for my friends, those who still inform me about their lives, those estranged, those forgotten.
I pray for all the people I love, all the people I will love in the future.

I pray for a clear mind, cleansing myself from my personal dogmas.
I pray for a gentle and kind spirit, I’m tired of losing my shit about nothing.

I pray for a continuous escape of my Obsessive Compulsive loop, I’m laughing about it now but every now and then, I feel it calling me back. It’s too easy to fall back. Satan always has the best music.

I pray to see the truth, that I won’t be fooled by propaganda, during my research, in my stories, in my writing. I want to escape humanity’s natural inclination to follow the same old story. The story works that why we follow it, it’s full of action and exciting drama, but in the end when we look upon all the damages, the human costs, we wonder; we have seen this before, we told ourselves we wouldn’t do it again. Why did we do it again? Tell me why.

I pray for all those children who have seen too much, have seen the things children shouldn’t see. Those who live in a war-torn country. Those who dream about the magical lands in the West. Where they can have nice cars. Where they can dress in any way they want. Where they don’t come find their house in a pile of rubble. Children who had to fight for their breath in Syria. Children who make the toys and clothes for the lucky people in the West. Children who lost a parent. Children who lost both parents. Children who lost friends. Children who were forced to wield a gun, who know how to cock it, who know how it feels to pull a trigger.
Let the children see some light, let the children be children again. Let them play. Wake them up as empty adults. Let nothing in the past haunt them. Let them learn. Let them be adults who want to make the world a better place.

I pray for our fellow animals, those who live abhorrent lives because the human animal wants cheap meat. The mothers who see their child taken away. The sadness that cannot be expressed. The betrayal when they think they are reunited with their child, but are just being used for their milk. Those who just want to live a happy life under the arms of kind animals. We could be that animal. We could be better. We don’t have to ruin this world, committing daily genocide of fellow animals with it. We could do better. It makes me so sad, thinking about how much better we could be.

I pray for people to wake up.
I pray for them seeing what tyranny is.
I pray for our leaders to serve the people.
I pray for the unloved to become loved.
I pray for the leviathan, let it be a monster of peace.
I pray for religion to be used accordingly.
I pray for people not taking the religious tales literally, but instead, learn from its scriptures, in order to become tolerant and loving. So that they won’t hurt the children and other beautiful animals.
I pray for Jesus and all other religious actors to appear to those who believe, maybe the unbelievers too and tell them; ”okay it’s enough. Please stop it now. Let’s do what’s right this time. There’s no redemption for you but you still have a chance. If you listen to me, I can tell you where to go from here.”

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