Right Where It Ends

They would never know the streets like him,
how the music of his MP3 player would blend into his environment,
this soulful movie would play inside his head,
it would be so real
and if you’d watch it,
you wouldn’t feel so alone anymore.
You’d feel understood in a world that never seems that interested in you.

They would never know the quietness of walking these streets after midnight,
with only the occasional car in the background
and you wonder where these people are going at such a late hour-
you wonder about the murderous missions
of men trying to hide the bodies
and men trying to hide themselves.
All these people you will never know
or
do know and if they’d only stop
and talk to you,
you wouldn’t be so alone anymore.

They would understand your pain if only they saw you,
stumbling around at night,
calmly walking home,
hoping your parents are asleep,
because you don’t want to talk to them,
you don’t want them asking about you,
all the things that are going on
and what the hell you are going to do with the rest of your life.

And you wonder whether these people have a destination
or are just driving around?
How many times have they driven around and found themselves returning to the same place all over again.

We run and go back.
We fall back to where we belong.
When we don’t have anywhere to go, we go back to the place we know so well- even though we’ve been trying to run away from this place for so long.

This would be such a great movie if people could only see it
but when you try to explain the plot,
people don’t know what to say.
Like your life it doesn’t really have a plot,
it’s just a series of moments.
”It will be great, trust me!”
and they nod and they would if they could see it
but you’ll never make this movie.
You’ll never have the capital nor the work-ethnic or dedication.
It was only beautiful then,
in these streets only you know so well,
when you were all by yourself
with the music playing your eyes,
and the drugs peaking
and slowing down the closer you came to home.

For one moment you felt understood,
in that one moment,
you were ready to face the rest of your life.

If only the movie would stop then,
fade to black
the credits roll
but life goes on…

and eventually
we all have to go home
and go to sleep.
And when we wake up,

the streets will never be the same again.

Picture from: https://hiveminer.com/Tags/eneade%2Cman

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The Look

”The tragedy of human existence is not death, but alienation. It’s not the end of the story, it’s the inevitable depreciation of its arc, its history, its value. We learn so much but then we forget. The people remind us but are sick of listening. Even if we want to listen, we can’t. It’s not in our nature. We are not made for everlasting nirvana. There’s only fragments and then we move on. It’s not in our genes. We must forget to make way for the following conflict. We grow to understand ourselves and then regress into bad habits and ancient cliché’s. We should have seen it coming, we wonder how we couldn’t. But this is in our nature. We aren’t allowed to remember.
The tragedy is alienation, from ourselves but especially from others. Our involvement in this grand scheme, our accomplishments, the way we touch the lives of others, we don’t appreciate none of it. We must think ourselves as losers.
And then there are those we forget about. The ones you haven’t thought about for years. The ones you stop to think about for a second, you wonder how they are or whether they are still alive. The sadness of it all; close friends and now such strangers. The greatest tragedy of human existence is when friends become strangers.
They are the ones you haven’t seen in years and then suddenly, he’s walking on the same street as yours. You don’t recognize him at first, you would have missed them if you hadn’t been looking. He used to be a good friend, you didn’t treat him well. You tried to make amends but wouldn’t hear it. You begin to recognize him when you look into his eyes, you are shocked. There were stories, but you didn’t think it would go this far. You see the shock in his eyes when he recognizes you too. None of you know what to say. It almost seems like he wants to say something to you. But he quickly turns away and you never see him again.”

Photography made in Krakow, Poland.

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