There’s No Meaning to Any of It: the Rise of the Gangster-Capitalist 1


This short series will examine the rising nihilism of American culture- alongside the rise of president Donald Trump, his crew and his misguided defenders. There’s so much madness to consider, it’s hard to know where to start.
-Song I listened to while writing this piece: ‘This Patch of Sky’ by White shores. 

Znalezione obrazy dla zapytania The comedian watchmen

”American Love- like coke in green glass Bottles… They don’t make it anymore.”
Alan Moore, Watchmen 

Introduction: The Comedian Never dies

Before the Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) plunges to his death, he can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all, ”it’s a joke,” he croaks as the assassin faces him, ”it’s all a joke.”
Finally there’s the awareness of impending void: ”mother forgive me.” A spatter of blood falls down from his battered face. It trickles down on his signature yellow smiley badge stuck to the lapel of his robe. The joke never ends when the superhuman assassin slams the Comedian’s face against the kitchen table for good measure, afterwards lifting him up and throwing through a glass window. The button follows the descending comedian. It’s still smiling when it hits the pavement right next to the comedian’s corpse.

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The Comedian’s infamous badge found by Batman from the current Doomsday Clock series. 

The comedian has always been one of my favorite characters of Alan Moore’s comic book and Zack Snyder’s much maligned comic book adaptation- which I consider personally as being severely underrated. On all accounts the character is a miserable human being: a murderer, a rapist and a war criminal to boot- not to mention that he’s the illusive Grassy Knoll shooter as well as having covered up the Watergate conspiracy for tricky Dick. But there’s more to his character than the horrors he’s afflicted; there’s the notion that he comprehends the madness of this world, the cosmic joke that is being played on all of us.
Like Sisyphus he’s just rolling with the punches, smiling as he does so. Unlike his fellow superhero compatriots he’s long lost any shred of idealism. Now he’s part of the system, a mercenary for the government. Back in the good old days he was just like the rest of them; just another bleeding heart who wanted to make a difference. This was before the human animal created the capacity to destroy all life on earth, before there was a superhuman deity serving America which frightened those pesky Ruskies. Back in the days when good and evil were simple concepts. You do good and you punch evil in the face- that’s what superheroes are supposed to do. But somewhere along the line, after witnessed so much ugliness within the system and human nature, he lost his way- or become enlightened in the worst possible manner.

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Sisyphus’ daily struggle. The only struggle that makes sense to him. 

First he was fighting crime, now he’s committing them- but it’s approved by the state so therefore it’s legal. Before the Vietnam war, there was The War to End All Wars, well that didn’t last long did it? If you secretly taped the conversations within the oval office you’d hear the callous manner in which they dealt with the loss of human life, the senseless manner in which they continued the war. In this universe, one of the most putrid examples of the presidency would remain in office for a fifth term- it’s hinted that he would be replaced by a buffoonish actor turned president, a man representing America’s final descent into Corporate-cosmology, named Ronald Reagan.
Don’t you see? It’s a joke, it’s all a joke. Once you realize this, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense…

Znalezione obrazy dla zapytania watchmen comedian comic
The Comedian in Incendiary comic book form- from Before Watchmen: Comedian issue 5 by Brian Azzarello and J.G. Jones.

This understanding that none of it really matters, that the human animal is just locked in their own particular illusions- fostered by either group identity, religion or some misguided pursuit of happiness- is something that I can, in my own limited education and life-experience, understand, perhaps, in a strange way identify with. I don’t mean to imply that I see the world for what it is, because like everyone else, I have my own personal biases and live through my own divested illusions. But sometimes you can’t help but feel like the only sane person as the world invests their intellect and time into all these meaningless things. All of it will fade away like the rest of us. You see people get outraged about the smallest and dumbest things and you’d just want to slap them on the head, hoping to wake them up, to remind them: ”we’re all in this hopeless void together. Why can’t we just play around with each other and move on!”
Same as how I, as with many others, adored the character of Rust Cohle in True Detective season 1- someone who dares to face the ugly truth, reveling in the darkness instead of hiding in the manufactured light like so many others. Everyone had of us probably had those thoughts and I’m sure that even those who dismiss them, occasionally have this little pang of uncertainty, telling them: perhaps there is no meaning to any of this. Perhaps when the lights go out, they stay out.
But something keeps dragging me into the light….
There’s something there, something truthful too. It’s not all dark out there. I can feel this. Perhaps I’m just telling myself this to sleep better- but I don’t see no reason to fight this, especially when things are going so much better with me.

Podobny obraz
Rust Cohle (Matthew McConaughey) staring right inside your soul in True Detective Season one.

Unlike the Comedian, I do have a moral center and I can’t smile at the savagery of the human animal, it makes me uncomfortable, depending on my courage I will either look away or do something about it. Even though politics can seriously depress me, I keep myself invested in current events. I have faith in democratic institutions, I believe in strengthening them against the gangsters who want to abuse them for their own profit. There will always be equality in this world, wherever you go, it cannot be avoid. But with the right hearts and minds we can create a compassionate regime that is able to help and prosper the lives of our poorest and least privileged countrymen. I am passionate about exposing human rights violations of governmental institutions, in the power of journalism to speak the truth about ever increasing authoritarianism. I’ve fallen in love for about three years now and planning to stay that way.

Znalezione obrazy dla zapytania true detective light
My favorite quote of the series. 

But it’s hard to not be cynical nowadays. As a liberal, I’m disheartened by the particular nefarious brand of progressive-liberalism of today where anyone who questions certain core believes and practices are shunned or insidiously misrepresented. I’ve found myself quite at home with renegade intellectuals, closer to conservatism at times but at least they are speaking out at this aggressive and hateful strand of liberal-progressivism. At the same time, my greatest worry goes to the ever increasing hold of Authoritarian disinformation, whether it comes from Russia, Turkey, China, America, wherever. I’m worried about the loss of objective truth in journalism, about the way we accept the obvious villains of democracy, letting them go about their business as they continue to infringe on our human rights.
And sometimes it just seems so hopeless, like a painful joke. I want to laugh at it, like the Comedian but it’s not as funny for me. Perhaps in time it will be.
In one of my favorite scenes of Watchmen, the naive Nite Owl (Patrick Wilson) asks The Comedian after witnessing him beating down several violent protesters: ”what happened to the American dream?”
The comedian answers: ”what happened to the American Dream? It came true. You’re looking at it.”
I don’t believe in the American dream. But I believe in fighting for it.

Znalezione obrazy dla zapytania watchmen comedian
***

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Elegy for the Conner Family: Why I’m Going to Miss Them and Why the Cancellation Might Not Have Been the Right Response

Znalezione obrazy dla zapytania Roseanne revival pictureWhen it became apparent that Roseanne Conner, sitcom’s blue collar heroine, would return after twenty-years as a Trump supporter, the revival show was already on the hit-list of media liberals. To have a respectable ABC show humanize a Trump supporter was apparently too controversial and when it was released, numerous clickbait articles demonized the show to no end. You’d be excused in thinking that Roseanne became a propaganda vessel of Roseanne Barr’s own vigilant support for Trump. If you’d actually watch it, you’d see that the show was fairly innocuous: it poked light fun at the current political division of America. At no point did we get a swaying speech from Roseanne about why Trump was the only reasonable choice in the maddening 2016 election. At the same time, the show called for tolerance and understanding against Muslims and people who have a different gender than the one they are assigned to.

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Dan holding the manuscript that was the basis of Roseanne’s ninth lackluster season.  

What we did get was a faithful return of the Conner family, whose final season appearance 1997 was embarrassing to say the least.  Much of the failure of season 9 of Roseanne was due to Roseanne Barr’s own troublesome character, something that ironically also destroyed the show from receiving an eleventh season. Season 9 was hampered down by Roseanne’s continuous bloating ego and her demand for rewrites- like many celebrities, fame was something the talented comedian and actress simply couldn’t handle.
The chance to see the Conner family again next year, was destroyed by Roseanne’s grotesque tweet about Valerie Jarrett about her being black and born in Iran which went: ‘’Muslim brotherhood & planet of the apes had a baby’’ yeah, hilarious Roseanne. Naturally in this current political climate, this supposed joke didn’t fly and it quickly caused division among its own producers with Wanda Sykes, long-time friend of Roseanne, leaving the show. Co-star Sarah Gilbert tweeted her disappointment with Roseanne’s comments. The tweet caused countless condemnation of celebrities and media figures, some of them jumping on the opportunity to bash Roseanne, deploring the revival show’s mere existence. Re-run episodes were quickly pulled from the air and add revenue went down in oblivion. Disney CEO Bob Iger even called Valerie to apologize for Roseanne’s abhorrent tweet and announced that the show would be cancelled. All of this despite the incredible high ratings of the show and sufficed to say, Roseanne’s tweet caused ABC a lot of money.
Znalezione obrazy dla zapytania Roseanne tweet valerie
Roseanne’s fatal tweet. 

Roseanne apologized profusely and stated that she wrote the tweet on Ambien. It was my suspicion that some chemical imbalance causes her weird twitter outburst- some profusely filled with demented conspiracy theory. Even so, it wasn’t enough to safe the show.
As a fan of the show it caused me great annoyance for the show to become so annoying politicized. People condemned the show before it even came out, citing Roseanne’s moronic political beliefs. As a liberal who absolutely loathes Trump, I couldn’t care less about Roseanne’s personal political beliefs and it’s hypocritical for others to do so. It would be easy to name numerous performers from Cinema and TV we give a pass too, but apparently being a Trump supporter is going too far. As usual, someone was outraged so cue: the attention seeking tweets and clickbait articles. Soon enough you will have tribalism with with Trump supporters all standing by Roseanne- all of this despite the fact that the show is not political propaganda but a touching and humorous look at blue-collar Americana.

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Sarah Gilbert, Roseanne Barr and John Goodman reading the countless clickbait articles about why nobody should watch Roseanne. 

It didn’t help that Trump apparantly called Roseanne to congratulate her on the show’s huge premiere ratings. Numerous pundits and writers would condemn the show for its (imagined) racism. If Barr herself wasn’t a Trump supporter, perhaps the show would have been left alone, but the show even called out for being slightly dangerous for normalizing Trump supporters. The show was simply on the hit-list by many liberals. It became an issue of partisan politics and wasn’t looked at objectively. With the show being cancelled, numerous pundits and celebrities are supporting this decision, some even revelling this as a great sign or progression.
Being a fan and a liberal myself, I understand the decision to cancel the show, even if I don’t wholly support it. A dumb and drug-induced comment by the main star should not immediately result in the cancellation of a huge show- and with it, the jobs of all those performers who worked on the show. As someone suffering from mental-illness, I also feel for Roseanne Barr who suffered from her own bouts of neurosis and perhaps we should be more sympathetic and forgiving for her stupid and cruel joke. If we really want to have diversity among the humanities, it shouldn’t be just about race or gender, it should also be about the state of our mental-health. But race is such a sensitive subject in America that a calm and measured response I simply not in the cards. I’m not defending Roseanne’s comments but I wonder whether this response was right. The self-righteousness of many liberals seems overblown. This piece of news was used to make a political statement and perhaps it should have been used to make a higher and more humanizing statement. What Roseanne said about Valerie Jarrett was cruel and inhumane and should be condemned. But at the same time, as many right-wing pundits point out, numerous insensitive comments are made about Trump supporters or white people and apparantly that’s accepted, even encouraged. White people are often the butt of many jokes in TV shows and comedians.  White people are lumped together in ways that would be offensive if it were to be done with black people. The common excuse being that white people have certain privileges that make it necessary for them to conform themselves to the sensitivities of minorities (or is more often the case) and sensitive liberals.

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Jackie as the raging Hilary supporter. 

But perhaps the right thing would be to really look at America’s political divisions, at the hatred the show received from its inception, at the imbalanced mental-state that becomes attracted to one side of this polemical debate. Roseanne Barr is a celebrity that’s enmeshed in fake news and partisan politics but she’s not the only one. The decision becomes another issue of partisan politics, of the power of the outrage culture which cannot accept any compromises. And yet, maybe there was a better way. Maybe there was a way to bring us all together. Maybe we should have looked more inwardly to ourselves and to the perpetrator instead of immediately shunning her out of the spotlight.

Znalezione obrazy dla zapytania roseanne family
The Conner family twenty years ago, in their younger and apparantly less vulnerable years. 

With that being said, I also humbly believe that Roseanne as a show has immense cultural importance. Jeffrey Tambor was quickly fired from the hit-show Transparent following sexual harassment allegations. Showrunner Jill Soloway stressed the importance of continuing the show because of its importance to the LBGT community. If that’s the case, a similar case could be made for Roseanne as there are not many sitcoms around that are as honest in its depiction of American life. It’s important because unlike shows like Modern Family or Big Bang Theory, this is closer to how real Americans live day by day. Rarely do we see Americans in sitcoms struggle like the Conners do. In Roseanne we see the painful compromises they have to make, in their personal dreams and ambitions. We see how tired they are, how much of a mess their house is, how tragically easy it is to lose the little comfort they have left. The sentiment that often transpires in the show is genuine too. People love each other but often can’t stand each other. People can hurt each other, people can be selfish. But in the end, as the Conner family shows us, we have to stick together. The only way to make it out of this troublesome country is that we stick together.
I watched this show at the same time as watching episodes from the first season. It’s fascinating to watch these two different time periods back to back. It’s like you’re watching real people from the past and in the future. Sometimes Darlene or Becky would mention their ambitions to the future or Jackie would mention having children in the future and I’d shake my head knowing that things will be very different for them. In America, dreams usually don’t come true.
The tenth season was not supposed to be the last but at least we got see all the usual faces again. True to its roots, none of is glamorous. DJ Conner became an ex-veteran that is sometimes haunted by the horrible things witnessed and participated in. The passionate and vitriolic love affair between Darlene and David ended as it probably would; with Darlene breaking it up indefinitely in order not to spoil any semblance of stability for their child, with David hopefully showing some paternal instinct in the future. Becky would not have the fashionable life she dreamed off but instead becomes a waitress with a history of bad men and a slight drinking problem. Jackie becomes an elderly and clueless Social-justice Warrior, a woman with all the right intentions but none of the proper tact. Grandmother Beverly (still played wonderfully by ninety year old Estelle Parsons) still interferes with her children lives but revels in her newfound sexual hedonism that can appear in old age with the continuing awareness of the finality of life- which includes banging senior Christopher Lloyd. And finally, there is Dan and Roseanne, who still have the same chemistry they had twenty years ago. Roseanne has a painful hip problem which she, as is sadly common in America, treats with her slight addiction for prescription medication. Dan is still a contractor but suffers under the weights of cheap American Labour. Both have an uncertain future, as do all of them.
But at least they have each other.
The show ends with the whole family enjoying a meal the day before Roseanne is undergoing hip surgery. She’s afraid that she won’t wake up and see Dan anymore. Complications can always arise with procedures like this. Life is filled with unwelcome surprises.
It’s more than likely, as was the plan, that Roseanne would be okay. It’s not the perfect ending to the Conner family saga but it’s more a dignified end than what fans originally got. Life will go on with the Conner’s. And life will go on with all who loved watching the trials and tribulations of the quintessential American family.
But I’m certainly going to miss them.
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The Conner family’s final meal. 

***

Can the Neighborhood Be Saved?

As a child I didn’t grow up with Mr. Rogers Neighborhood,
it was before my time and from another country.
Instead I grew up like most kids back then,
blinded by different collections of action figures,
they were all pretty much the same
but they were dressed in different ways.
I rewatched countless tapes of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,
I thought Shredder,
in his modified Samurai suit,
with blades sticking out from his palms and shins,
was the most bad-ass of all.
There was the Disney Palace,
the murmur of angels in the background,
the star that flew around it,
the jingle that will forever be stuck in my subconscious.
There were cartoons bashing each other’s heads in,
those who could never die,
there was always the victor
and the sufferer
and the game never got old.

But even if it aired in my time and in my country, it wouldn’t have caught on. The world had changed too much. No matter how inviting Mr. Rogers’ smile, the kids rather want to see something that sparkles or explodes. They rather want to watch a swashbuckling hero stab a series of nameless villains then hear the wise words of a sock-puppet.

The times have changed now. There’s too much available. The marketers know the game too well. The parents let it happens, the parents couldn’t have done anything about it even if they wanted to. The parents were too distracted themselves by the newest gadgets, building up their pension and Christmas bonuses. The marketers got them in their pockets too. It’s everything you stood against Mr. Rogers. But you see, in your day, television entertainment wasn’t as evolved as it is now. Now things can be created out of thin air, by computers. Now there’s so much money at stake. So much money. And you don’t fuck with the money Mr. Rogers.
They won’t let you fuck with the money. They’ll kick you out of the air if you do.

I’m sorry Mr. Rogers but the assholes of the world have won. Look no further in how little people care now about good morals, about being nice to each other. It’s too difficult to be empathetic, it’s much easier to dismiss people’s pain.
There’s so much pain and misery. There are people debating whether or not to give people medical assistance if they can’t afford it- they should have taken better care of themselves right?
There are the unfortunate people who lost their minds through either either neglect or genetic predisposition and the fortunate ones who pass them on the streets, telling the unfortunate ones that it’s their own fault.
Or at the very least, that their pain is not their problem.
There are people in charge of the government now who favor objectivism, the philosophy of Ayn Rand- if anyone can play a witch without make-up, it’s her- which states that selfishness is a virtue.

But you were special Mr. Rogers.
You were all about love. All you wanted to do is tell the truth and make them understand. You understood that you didn’t have to patronize the kids, that you didn’t need to manipulate them. That there was a higher goal in having a broad children’s audience.
You could teach them to be good to each other.
You could tell about the horrors of this world,
how ugly people can be to each other,
how good people can be murdered for no good reason,
how people can fall out of love,
how people are scared for things that are different,
why sometimes we get a little sad because the world is a tough place
and we have to be alone sometimes
and we have figure things out for ourselves
and sometimes we love will leave us
and they can never come back
except in our hearts and minds.
And we have to accept things
even if we don’t want to,
because if we don’t
this world will be unbearable.
And it’s full of vultures waiting for desperate children who can’t handle this world
And sometimes we let the vultures eat our children
because we don’t know what to do,
we don’t know what to do…

And I wish I was more like you
Mr. Rogers,
I wish I was as pure as you
but I guess it’s too late for that.
I’ve done too many bad things,

I have too many bad habits,

patterns of thoughts I can’t seem to get rid of.
I feel uncomfortable with children,
I don’t know what to say,
I’m afraid to embarrass myself.
And I wished I lived in your neighborhood,
I wish you could tell me
that things are going to be alright
and that it’s okay to be me
and that I shouldn’t be like you,
cos nobody should be the same
because otherwise the neighborhood wouldn’t be so colorful.

You’d tell me these bad men
who are glorified by too many people,
people who should know better,
aren’t really winning.
And it’s because they don’t see it,
even though the right answer was always there.
The higher plain,
the game-changer,
some of us see it right at the end.
They will understand that they’ve wasted so much time
worrying too much
or hating each other.
Thinking too much of the past,
building a fantasy world inside their heads,
putting their names
on top of tall buildings
in plaques made of gold.

You’d tell me:
”I know you want to change the world
but now you gotta look out for yourself.
You gotta show the world
and all its misguided creatures,
what it means to be human.
You don’t let them change you,
you don’t let them away your light.
It’s what happens to so many of us,
and if we could keep that light inside us
and share that light,
cultivating it
by helping others,
collectivize it in one beautiful image
for the world to see.
And it might not change the world
but it might change
the mindset of some,
it might make them feel better
the less fortunate ones,
the ones who see no way out.
And wouldn’t that be nice?”

”Yes it would,” I’d say,
and then I’d smile and look away,
and I would wish I wasn’t so cynical,
that I was more like you. 

And you’d see that familiar glare of mine
and it wouldn’t dishearten you,
you would understand.
You’d finish by saying:

”Love is at the root of everything. love
or the lack of it.
And what we see and hear on the screen

is part of who we become.”
And I’d wipe away a tear
and tell you I need to go home

”but I’ll be back,” I’d say,
”because I like it here.
I really, really like it here.”

Znalezione obrazy dla zapytania fred rogers neighborhood
***

THE WACKY SERIOUSNESS 4

The Shit Never Ends

At the SJWC network- Social Justice Warriors Network, yes not very original but who cares, you get the point- its news and entertainment staff had their own daily meeting. Considering the news, there was much to celebrate. They had perfect dirt on the president of their rival network America Today. But before they could celebrate this, there were the necessary formalities…
”Before we begin,” said Charlie as he sat down at the head of the chair, ”I first want to declare my privilege for being a white straight male.”
”Check your privilege” said everyone in response to Charlie’s admission besides the newest staff-member in the room: Chelsea. Chelsea thought it was a little creepy actually how they there were all perfectly in unison, almost like a cult.
It was very important for SJWC that everyone was aware- well mostly straight white males- of their privilege. Being white, Charlie was a very controversial president of the SJWC network. Therefore Charlie had to do his best not to step on the toes of any woman or minority.
”Even though I have the highest rank, I recognize that women, minorities, transgenders, androgynous, androsexual, bigender, bi-curious and eh….”’
”Don’t forget otherkins!” said Reza, the host of the show Privileges Exposed, wearing bunny-ear headband.
”Off course otherkins, of every sort. Whether you feel like you a cat, a dog, pig, a snake…”
”Or a dragon!” called out Kim, the economics correspondent, who was wearing a T-shirt on which a dragon was perched on a mountain, shooting fire into the night-sky. She was Japanese-American.
”I kind of feel it’s insulting to say that ‘we feel like something,”’ said Andrew, the leading anchor, ”We don’t feel like something, we just are!”
”I concur, wholeheartedly with what Andrew just said,” said Ken, associate producer. Ever since Andrew, a black man, overheard Ken listening to old-school gangsta Rap from white rapper Eminem. Eminem has now been considered inappropriate music because his use of the N-word and the fact that he’s white and using a black-art form- cultural-appropriation. Andrew stated that Ken was a closeted white-supremacist and he was almost fired for this reason. Ken tried to explain why he wasn’t, but he was quickly shut down and told to check his privilege. In the last few weeks Ken is doing his best to make up for it, mostly by kissing Andrew’s ass.
”Of course, thank you Andrew for pointing that out,” continued Charlie, ”otherkins don’t just feel like they are a different species, they just are. It was very insulting for to me say that and I should check my privilege.”

”Check your privilege,” the group said in unison again. Chelsea was really getting creeped.
Charlie wanted to continue but the thought of mentioning the six hundred genders, something he was required to do every morning nauseated him.
”Would you guys mind if I continue, since we have to cover today, by merely stating that I believe that every minority and every gender or non-gender or otherkin can do my job, perhaps even better than I can?”
The group gave each other and seriously look and then shook their heads in agreement.
”Thank you, I thank you for checking my privilege….”
”Check your privilege” everyone said in unison again. Chelsea felt like fleeing.
A faint twitch of annoyance came over Charlie too but he quickly suppressed it, as he always did and made his announcement: ”a quick announcement, we are no longer using the word homosexual, instead we are using the word ‘same-gender loving.’ I know you have no problem with this Cenk, but we’ve got some complains. We gotta make sure we don’t offend anyone, I hope you understand.”
”It’s fine by me,” said Cenk, a reporter who just happened to be an openly gay Muslim- I can assure you that didn’t factor at all when he was hired.
”Before we go further, does anyone else have an announcement?”
Arriana, one of the network writers, lifted up her finger, ”I have something to confess.”
”Last night, I was making food with Mark and we thought… Oh god I’m so ashamed….”
”What is it Arriana?”
On the verge of tears she continued: ”we thought it be a cute idea to….wear kimono’s the whole the day…”
Everybody was shocked and appalled. Chelsea didn’t get it.
”I know, I’m so sorry. They were just so comfortable. But I’m not Japanese so I should have known better.”
Kim, turned her head away from Arriana.
”It was a vile, despicable act Arriana, but I’m happy you came out with it. But we can’t okay such bigotry. I understand if Kim doesn’t want to look at your face. You remind her too much of the bigotry her great great grandparents endured in the Japanese internment camp.”
”Actually they weren’t in the Japanese interment camp at the time, they were actually living comfortably living in New-Zealand but I don’t think that matters. I still feel very triggered with what Arriana did. I feel like puking actually.”
”I’m so sorry Kim!” Arriana reached out for Kim’s shoulder who brushed it away and yelled ”don’t touch me you white whore!”
”I think I speak for all of us,” said Charlie, Chelsea expecting him to reprimand Kim, ”that we don’t want to work with you today. I need to leave this building immediately. I will discuss with whether or not we still have a place for you here.”
Arriana burst into tears, muttering apologies under her breath as she left the room. Chelsea felt like she was living a different dimension, both hilarious and horrifying at the same time.
”Shocking, just shocking. What is happening to this country?”
Serena lifted up her hand, ”I would also like to confess something.”
Serena was another reporter, who just happened to be a lesbian Mexican.
”Go ahead Serena.”
”Last night I was watching this drama starring about the struggle of this transgender artist and I really liked it. But I discovered the actor wasn’t even really a trans!”
Everyone in the group was shocked.
”My god, they could never get away with this now!” said Jonah, a staff-writer who just happened to be Jewish, ””how far we’ve come.”
”Oh that’s okay, you don’t need to be sorry for that,” said Chelsea, she was herself a transgender- male to female, ”you can enjoy a movie about transgender artists without the actors themselves being transgender.”
”How can you say that!” yelled Jonah, ”that role could have been given to a transgender actor! Someone who really understands the struggle they go through!”
”I’m just saying, I’m a transgender and I still love to watch reruns of Transparent, knowing that the late great Jeffrey Tambor wasn’t transgender. I don’t care. That show fucking rules. It’s called acting.”
Jonah was stunned, ”Charlie, can I leave and go to my safe space? I’m really triggered because I’m so offended by her attrocious words.”
”Yes you may Charlie and Chelsea, I think you should leave to and think about what you said.”
”Why the fuck should I leave?”
”Chelsea, I know you are new here, but we have a certain way of doing things. I know you’re transgender and you have dealt with a lot of discrimination…”
”Well yeah, this world sucks. I don’t need Jonah to defend me, I can defend myself…”
”Of course you can, you are perfectly able to defend yourself. Jonah was just doing his duty as a human being…”
”Doing what?”
”Helping the oppressed. He was calling out your form of oppression.”
”My what?”
”As a human being we should call out oppression. The world will perish if good people don’t do anything. You are horribly misinformed by the notion that cis actors can play transgender roles, and that’s obviously wrong and Jonah was just correcting you. You should just accept it.”
”This place is fucking mental.”
”Listen, just shut up for a moment. I think you should leave now and go to your assigned safe space and really think about what you said. If we don’t watch out what we said and if we don’t call each other out for the things we say, we can let oppression slip by. Before you know it things will turn into an authoritarian state, like it is now…”
”Well it’s not exactly an authoritarian state is it? We still have the right to vote. I mean, this country is going to shit, but we are not there yet. And even so, what does a cis actor playing a transgender character have anything to do with authoritarianism?
”It always starts with something Chelsea.”
”Yeah, slavery started in a similar fashion,” said Andrew, who quickly realized what he said made no sense and was in fact, extremely stupid.
”What are you talking about?” asked Chelsea.
”Hey do not tell Andrew how slavery started! He’s black! His ancestors were slaves and therefore he knows all about it!” yelled Serena.
”Leave Andrew alone!” yelled Ken.
”Look we are all a bit triggered. We need to calm down. Chelsea I want you to leave immediately before you afflict more emotional trauma.”
Chelsea sighed, got up, left the room. She closed a door a little too loud which startled Christiano Chandler, a staff-writer who just happened to be high-functioning autistic. He was wearing noise-canceling headphones and not paying attention to anything that was going on and continuing his favorite hobby: crossing cartoon characters with his favorite cartoon character of all: fucking Pikachu.
”Does anybody else need to go to their safe space after this very emotional moment?”
Every shook their heads.
”Okay, so if nobody else has an announcement, I think we can begin. I think we’ve all heard the good news: the president of America Today, that repugnant character by the name of Rupert Ailes, was spotted a socialite neo-nazi rally. He says it was an accident but I think we all know better.”
”I fucking knew it,” said Andrew.
”Course you did Andrew!” said Ken.
”In fact now that I mention it, maybe we should get some counseling for Jonah,” realized Charlie, ”I’m sure was really triggered when he saw those pictures with the swastika. I mean, you know his great great grandmother almost died in World-war 2? He never met her but I’m sure that must have been hard for him. Make a note of that Anita, he said to his assistant next to him.
”Will do Charlie.”
”By the way, that new hairstyle really looks good.”
Anita looked appalled. A silence came over the room. Charlie realized what he did.
”Calling out my appearance is fucking sexist Charlie.”
”Yeah don’t be a sexist pig,” said Kim.
”I’m so sorry…. I just meant that…” Charlie had the urge to scream the most offensive obscenities but he quickly suppressed it, ”okay, well let’s focus on the issue at hand. We’ve got a several picture of Rupert Ailes at a Neo-Nazi rally and we need to use this opportunity. We even have one of him doing the Nazi salute. It almost looks like he’s just pointing at something but we know better,” Charlie laughed, everybody was still reeling from his ‘sexist comment’ and refused to laugh with him.
”It’s an election year,” continued Charlie, swallowing his pride, ”we’ve got a real chance here because if the popular figures in America Today are exposed, so will the president and maybe then,
we will finally have a women president again in this country. We only had one! It’s a travesty!”
They all nodded in agreement.
”I mean I know Bob has more experience and shown more care than Debra Schultz but he’s an old man. An old straight man. We’ve had enough of them in office.”
”Hell’s yeah,” said Andrew.
”Word to a motherfucker,” said Ken, whose head went red when Andrew gave him a funny look.
”I mean granted she’s not as left as we want her to be. She’s kinda hawkish. She didn’t support gay-marriage until last year. She doesn’t seem genuine but she’s a woman! We need a woman back again in the office! It will give hope to the women of America who are oppressed daily, hourly all the time!”
Again, they all nodded in agreement.
”We need to hit them hard, with everything we’ve got,” as Charlie was talking, Anita was giving out the talking points.

The Talking points were:
-Hint that everyone who agrees with America Today or the President on anything, even the mildest thing, is morally compromised and might be a closeted Neo-Nazi.
-Talk extensively about race, make everything about race and gender. Ask the audience: is there enough diversity on screen and if not, is this a sign that white-supremacy is running rampant in this country?
-Is using black emoticons a form of blackface? The answer: YES!
-Make sure to know that anyone who says that Islam has anything to do with Islamic terrorism is an Islamaphobe and doesn’t deserve to speak.

”We need to interview every Jew we can find!” said Charlie excitedly, ”perhaps we need a whole segment about the holocaust and imply, not outright say -I mean we are a serious news channel here- that America Today supports the Holocaust. That if you watch America Today or think him or the president has any good points, you’re immediately an anti-Semite.”
”You gotta pick a side,” said Serena defiantly, ”pick a side or go fuck yourself.”
”Yeah everyone who watches America Today is a motherfucker!”
”A cocksucker!” blurted Ken out who immediately corrected himself: ”I’m sorry. that was homophobic. There’s nothing wrong with sucking cock.”
”Damn straight,” said Cenk.
”Are we going to forgive Ken for using a homophobic epithet?”
Ken held his head down in shame while the group nodded ‘yes.’
”You are forgiven Ken, check your privilege next time.”
”Check your privilege.”
”Thank you,” said a humble Ken.
”That’s okay, you’re a white-ciss male, you don’t know any better.”
Ken nodded in agreement.
”We have a great opportunity here people. We need to use it. We can win this fight against oppression. Do whatever you can to destroy America Today. Not just Rupert Ailes but everyone. They are evil and they must all go away….”
They were all excited and there was an urge to clap, but instead, they were waving jazz-hands. Clapping provokes too much anxiety.

Every staff-member in the SJWC building a designed safe-space. It was a pink little room, full of stuffed animals, flowers and soothing Enya music.
Chelsea laid back, on an extremely comfortable couch. Yet she couldn’t relax. She felt she was at the wrong place, that taking this job was a mistake. She had heard stories but she didn’t expect it to be this bad. She wanted to desperately to contribute something to the political discourse and she would have a large platform on this channel.
But she wondered at what cost and whether that by conforming to these rules, she would compromise her own credibility.
She remembered what her father once said: ”we gotta get through the shit to get things done.” This was just part of the shit. But will the shit ever end? She had asked her father, ”no he said,” downtrodden,  gulping his twenty-fifth beer (might have been more, don’t remember, does it matter?), ”the shit never ends.”
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***

THE WACKY SERIOUSNESS 3

Today’s agenda….

”So I guess you all heard the news?” began the president of America Today, Rupert Ailes, nervously twitching in his seat at the head of the table.
Everyone in the conference room nodded.
”Course you guys did…. Look I just want to state for the record, make this clear for everyone in this room,” he took a deep breath, wanted this to sound as convincing as possible: ”I really, really love the Jews.”
Everyone nodded again.
”I honestly didn’t know. I mean, David was a friend of mine for years. I never knew. I mean, I know he wasn’t very fond of the Jews. But I figured him for your average anti-Semite. You don’t expect every anti-Semite to be a Nazi. I mean, that’s bigotry too.”
Rupert’s loyal assistant, Roger, came to his defense: ”I completely understand. I have tons of anti-Semite friends and none of them are Nazis.”
”Exactly, he was an old college buddy of mine. One of the nicest guys I know. Who knew Nazis could so friendly? He always sends me a card on Christmas. I never thought Nazis send Christmas cards. True, one of the cards said ”have a very white Christmas,” the word ‘white’ was heavily underlined but I thought he meant snow… You know ‘White Christmas”’.
Rupert sighs, ”I mean I should have left when I realized where I was but I just didn’t want to be rude. There were nice people there. They had the most delicious crap cakes. They all had nothing but kind words for me, you know flattery is my weakness…. They said reporters weren’t allowed but this one was undercover. Just my luck right? I find myself accidentally and innocently at a Neo-Nazi gathering and there just happens to be an undercover reporter. Would you believe that? I thought the president was supposed to handle these reporters….”
Rupert leaned back and rubbed his head, a headache was emerging, ”Oh god… I should have had a better excuse than the truth, the truth just makes me look guilty. Oh god why did I have to smile…”
It’s true, he was smiling in all the pictures, but the most unfortunate picture had to the one where he was pointing at a painting  he liked with a straight hand, which made it look like he was making a Nazi salute. He wasn’t, it was just unfortunate timing.
”They have cameras in their eyes now. You can’t even spot them anymore! Oh god, if the president calls I’m fucking dead…”
The problem with these pictures was that it didn’t just damage his credibility or his network, but the president too. The president started this news-network to promote his message to America. This incident caused another massive stain in an already severely controversial network, often accused for being either state-propaganda (which it was), racist (they didn’t think they were but yeah, they were pretty racist), antisemitic (only accidentally), sexist (again, accidentally, they don’t mean to they just happen to say sexist things) and pandering to the president (which they certainly are). This was bad though, very bad. If he couldn’t fix this somehow, the board, on orders of the president, might replace him. His co-workers knew he was in deep shit.
”I mean a lot of them are really funny…”
Roger immediately began listing a random series of Jewish-Comedians: ”Mel Brooks, Don Rickles, Carl Reiner, Woody Allen…”
”Don’t forget Adam Sandler!” said Megyn Colby, a popular pundit.
Nearly everyone in the room got excited. They all loved Adam Sandler.
”Yeah you ever see the one where he plays like a double role. Like he plays the brother and the sister?” asked Steve Kilmead, one of the three hosts of the morning talk-show called America’s Buddies, ”I mean that one is a classic. I nearly died laughing. I love that Al Pacino/Dunkenchino bit. Funniest thing I’ll ever see. Who knew Al Pacino could be that funny?”
”Is Adam Sandler still alive? Was he the one that killed himself?” asked Megyn.
”No that was Dane Cook,” said Ortega Banderas, one of the three hosts of the Morning talk-show called”Oh no!” said Ainsley Ailes, the second host of the Morning show, ”he’s so cute!”
”I cried when I heard that news, nobody made me laugh harder than Dane Cook. NOBODY.”
”He’s not Jewish though,” said Roger sternly, ”we gotta respect only Jewish comedians now.”
”Look the point is,” said Rupert getting back to the point, ”the Jewish people has contributed greatly to the American culture, especially in the area of comedy. I mean not all of them are funny.”
”No,” said Roger violently shaking his head, ”not all of them!”
”I mean I’ve met a few Jews who were assholes, but that’s not because they were Jewish!”
”Of course not!” nodded Roger.
”…They just happen to be assholes. You got assholes in every ethnicity. Though to be fair I’ve never really met a Australian I didn’t like.”
”Australians. Koala’s. Dingoes. Who remembers dingoes?”
”They are great to drink with, Australians I mean. They just want to have fun you know? Jews too. Jews are great drinkers. They have the greatest hats. What do you call those things?”
”A yamaka,” corrected Roger.
”Exactly, I should wear one of these, they look really cool.”
The star pundit of the network, Sean Reilly, has barely said a word when he came. He sighed, rubbed his eyes. He was tired, hungover, melancholic. Everything felt like a tired joke.
”Jews are smart too. They are an educated people.”
”Carl fucking Sagan BOOYA!” hollered Roger.
”And they are great with money. Well I don’t mean all of them. I’m sure some of them are quite lousy with money. But it surprises you when you hear it. I mean if I have to choose between a Jewish accountant or a goyim, I would go with the Jew immediately.”
”You gotta go with the Jew. Take my money Jew. I trust you.”
”Obviously I support a one-state solution. I support Israel and ONLY Israel!”
”Fuck Palestine!” said Roger, banging on the table, which gave everyone in the room a jolt, ”I’m sorry for that,” apologized Roger quickly after.
”Yes. Israel deserves to defend itself and Palestine should just, you know, leave them alone.”
”Leave them alone Palestine!”
Steve lifted up his finger, Roger sighed, ”what is it Steve?”
”I know what you mean. I have a lot of friends who say some outlandish stuff. Once I was playing golf and out of nowhere, this golf buddy of mine, Billy, said that the boyscout organization was a secret Jewish insurgency. I mean would you believe this? What are you supposed to say to that? I mean he really believed this. He just couldn’t shut up about it. I’ve been a boyscout for years and I don’t hate Jews….”
Silence.
”He was a really nice guy though.”
”I once dated someone who didn’t like Jews,” confessed Ainsley.
”Oh why?” Asked Rupert.
”I don’t know, he said it was something about the way they smelled.”
”That’s ridiculous. Jews smell wonderful.”
”I agree. If there was a Jewish cologne I would wear it in a heartbeat,” said Roger.
”There’s this perfume sponsored by this Jewish model,” said Ortega.
”After work I’m immediately getting one!”
Sean wondered why he even went to work today. He felt so sleepy. Oh how he wish he could sleep right now.
”Look I think we can all agree: Jews are awesome. But this is bad for me guys. I’m all over the news, even on papers that are supposed to be our friend. Those assholes at SJWC are going to show those pictures 27/7. They peg me for a Nazi just because I was there! I didn’t mean to! And they didn’t even differentiate the type of Neo-Nazis with. These were socialites nazis. Not the bucktooth hillbilly ones. These were gentle nazis. Polite….”
Rupert took a deep breath, ”but they always say such mean things about me. It’s hurtful. And I could lose my job unless we turn it around so…” He looked at Roger who immediately got up, picked up the stack of papers in front of him and went around the table, giving everyone a piece of paper. On the paper had all the talking points:

-Make sure the people know that Rupert Ailes is not an anti-Semite. He was only a victim of circumstance.
-Despite the presidents silence on this issue, the president really hates Neo-Nazis. Question the Left’s obsession with hearing condemnation of neo-nazis- do they have something to hide?
-Talk about how Political Correctness is out of control.
-Insist that black crime is out of control but please don’t use the N-word this time.
-Naturally remind the people that if the president doesn’t get reelected, America will become a socialist hellhole and drug-dealing Mexican rapists will rampant in America.

”We gotta really make an effort today. Not just talk through a teleprompter. I need fire today, passion! Our top focus today is vehemently oppose anti-antisemitism and Neo-Nazis. Make sure the public knows that we love Jews and that everything that has anything to do with Neo-nazis is very, very bad. I also quickly put some money in some Jewish fund-raisers and some of the sponsors will come and say that I’ve been giving them money for years. Make sure you hammer that in!”
Sean closed his eyes and quickly opened them again.
” …Make sure the people know that I support Israel. Mention Israel a million times. Say that this is a smear-campaign by the liberal media. Talk about how the liberals support these black-militant groups. Talk a lot about black people. Find me footage of Liberals saying something anti-semitic or supporting Palestine. Find me footage of angry black people! I can’t stress this enough. The public can’t get enough of angry black people! It scares them shitless. We are on Defcon one guys! My ass is on the fucking line here guys!”
”It will be alright sir,” Sean said, finally saying something. He didn’t say anything to comfort Rupert, he was just tired of hearing his voice.
”Jesus Sean, you’re alive! Mr. Ratings machine over here decides to join in the conversation. You know I’m counting on you the most. You’re the one they mostly listen to!”
”It will be alright sir. I’ll work my magic. I’ll even talk to the president for you.”
”Oh god will you? Will you tell him I’m sorry?”
”I will sir.”
”Oh god, I hope he forgives me. I can’t retire now. I’ll have to be home with my wife all day. I hate my wife. Maybe I get lucky and some big will happen that will distract the people. Some terrorist attack that kills a lot of people… Meetings adjourned.”

Everybody got up and left, but Sean waited until everybody left the room. He stared ahead of him, out the high-rise window. He started daydreaming. Megyn came back in the room, put her hand on Sean’s shoulder which immediately took him out from his head.
”Sean, you coming?”
”I need a moment.”
”Something wrong?”
”I’m fine. Just in one of my moods.”
”She still doesn’t talk to talk to you?”
”Of course not. Good for her right?”
”You know how it goes Sean, you’ve been through this before. Twice actually. You gotta move on. It just didn’t work out.”
”Things have a way of repeating itself doesn’t it? Things just go round and round and round.”
She patted Sean on the shoulder: ”come on, enough self-pity. You coming with me?”
”Yeah in a minute okay?”
”Sure.”
She left the room. He started daydreaming, he saw himself jumping out the window. He imagined the reactions of America Today and SJWC: one channel would glorify him,  make him a political martyer. They will hint suggest that his suicide had something to do with his deep concern for his country,  the world his kids will live in when the democrats take office.
The other channel would pretend to pity him, use him as an example of often unspoken cases of mental illness in his country. But eventually blame his mental illness for the radical things he said. Naturally, many on the left would celebrate his demise.
This was the game he was in. This is how it works. He’s been doing this for thirty years now. He used to love this job, but now, he was not so sure. Right now, he just wanted to sleep…
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***

THE WACKY SERIOUSNESS 2

BREAKING NEWS: Neo-Nazis are assholes! 

The Leftists intellectual Noam Yossarian has been banned from speaking at Berkley college for comments he made during an interview with the Washington Post two years before, concerning its annual ‘white-people free day’, a day when no white people are allowed on the premises. Yossarian thought this measure, though it means well, was ”kinda racist if you think about it.”
The college has commended Yossarian’ tireless political activism for good- which won him a noble peace prize- but feels that his comments are inconsistent with Berkley’s ”core values.”
Meanwhile the college has received a lot of criticism for replacing the speaker with Anjem Queefary, an Islamic fundamentalist who believes that every homosexual should be stoned to death. The college has defended this decision on grounds that its important to give voice to ”other cultures.”

The president courted another controversy after sharing an article on Twitter, which detailed the disturbing spike of the suicides in America, which a comment from the president saying: ”My voters aren’t killing themselves, its probably the democrats because they are sore losers. SAD!”
Though the article makes no definitive conclusions, it does speculate that the presidents Dugin initiative, the isolationist policy that gave states extensive rights and decreased federal jurisdiction. This initiative even caused certain states to create extensive border control and restrictions for people moving into the state.
The White House Press secretary Sandra Huckleberry stated that we give the Dugin initiative more time in order for it to work. ”We should all have a little more faith,” she stated, ”only faith will heal this country. We must have faith in Jesus and the President. If you trust Jesus, you must trust the president. Everything is going to be just dandy!”

A picture has surfaced that shows Rupert Ailes, the president of state channel America Today, at a socialite neo-nazi gathering. The powerful network president claims that he ”was there with a friend” and ”had no idea he was at a neo-nazi rally,” and that ”some of them were really nice, I know I should have left but I didn’t want to be rude.”
The anti-defamation league has called for Ruper Ailes’ resignation. A spokesperson America Today refused to comment deeply on this but did assure the public
Several politicians from both sides have condemned Ailes’ presence at the gathering. Popular Democratic Congressman Bob Sanders and one of the front-runners of the democratic party, has stated ”that this is a time to come together” and that ”although I don’t condone violence, punching Neo-Nazis is a lot of fun.”
He stated to be very happy with the condemnation coming from both sides, saying that ”at least we have a bipartisan agreement that Neo-nazis are assholes”
The president however, has yet to comment on this….
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***

Something You Can Understand

”There’s so many things you don’t understand. There’s so many things I still don’t understand. That’s the secret they don’t teach you kids yet: adults are just as clueless. We couldn’t solve the world’s problems. You won’t solve the world’s problems either. At first you think the world is doing better, then you see it hasn’t changed much at all. There’s a resurgence, a return to a dark kind of normalcy. We thought it was gone forever but it’s still out there. It’s biding its time. Maybe it won’t be as bad. Maybe your generation can eradicate better than we could. But there’s no need for you think about these things now. You’re a child, it’s your time to play. I had so little time to play when I was your age. Maybe you get lucky and you can find a way to play all your life because that’s what I want from you, that’s why I work so hard; the less you need to worry about, the more you can play. There are things we might never understand. But here’s something you can: I love you so much. And there’s nothing more I need to know, it’s enough for a lifetime.”